My most
successful post has been about my family because they are far more entertaining
than anything I write. So without
any ado here are the antics from my family over the last year as seen on
Facebook:
December 2015
This
morning Daphne pooped out a gold bead. I think it was from the Christmas tree
skirt. #IthinkwewatchedClaycloser #secondchild
December 1, 2015
Tonight
Amie was showing Clay how many days until Christmas on the calendar. "We
put an x here then you have this day, this day, this day...." Clay,
"That's a lot of days... Can we draw a bunch of xs?"
November 29, 2015 (Amie’s
status)
Brandon and I were in Nana's downstairs bathroom discussing how
unsafe it is for Daphne. There were cleaning products within her reach, though
Nana keeps door closed when she is there. We decided to move the cleaning
supplies into the closet. Meanwhile, while we were doing that, Clayton opened
the gate for Daphne and she climbed up two flights of stairs.
#sheisnotquite11months
#nothingissafewithher
#Clayisthegoodone
November 28, 2015
The Elf on
the Shelf appeared today. Amie, "You can't touch him because he'll loose
his magic powers." Clay, "Then he'll stay here all the time? ... I
want him to stay here." #consideringhisoptions #notsocrazyaboutbeingwatchedbysomeonewhowilltellSanta
November 20, 2015 (Amie’s
status)
And so it
begins.... I was in the bathroom getting dressed and Clay walked in to use the
toilet. He said, "What are boobs for?" I said, "to feed
babies." LOL!!
November 15, 2015
Clay has
been crying and whining for a new toy and "maybe for Christmas" has
not been an acceptable answer. So he asks, "When is it a Nana day?"
Nana days are when my mom watches him. Last time this happened - tantrum over a
toy - he spent the next day convincing Nana to go to Target. It worked.
November 7, 2015
Update:
Damn you Google, first you make Clay think there is a Toys R Us in Eau Clair
then while searching for toy stores you make Amie and Clay clink on a link to
an adult toy store. "No Clay we are not going to the adult store."
I just got
picked up from my meeting and Clay immediately said to me, "that's the
rule dad; we're going to Toys R Us."
November 1, 2015
Getting
ready for church and Amie says to me, "you wore that sweater last
Sunday." Me thinking while changing, "Like I care. I got this sweater
in 2004."
October
31, 2015 (my mom’s status)
The other
day before going to the park I told Clay to pick up his mess. "Will you
help me Nana?" He said. "No, you made the mess," I said.
"Can we work together?" He said. "No, I'm busy with
Daphne." Then he got all serious, looked at me and said, "Let's be a
team!"
October 31, 2015
We pulled
Clay around in a wagon trick or treating. At each house we would have to tell
him to get out of the wagon and go to the door. After I told Clay to get up
near the last house, Clay said to me, "how come you send me all the
time?!"
October
31, 2015 (Amie’s status)
Yesterday,
we went to Walmart and had to look at toys of course. Then, I got Clay to look
at the Christmas stuff by telling him, "Sometimes there are toys here
too." Well Clay found the Abominable Snow Monster from Rudolph and said, "I want this momma and I'm
not giving up." Guess who won? We went home and watched Rudolph!
October
19, 2015
We have a
love seat that sort of separates the family room into two areas - a play area
and a TV area. The kids were both in the play area when I sat on the couch and
turned on the TV. The TV was on Disney Junior and I changed it within two
seconds. In those two seconds, Daphne started crawling into the TV area and
Clay runs in and says, "Will you turn that show back on for Daphne?"
October 12, 2015 (Amie’s
status)
Clay,
"Momma, I'm not eating. You know why?"
Me,
"Why?"
"Because I'm thinking about what I want for Christmas. I
want the big spaceship from Miles From Tomorrowland."
Brandon, "You
have to be good to get that."
Clay, "I don't want that."
Brandon,
"You have to be good to get anything."
Clay, "I'll wait until
the next Christmas."
Me, "You have to be good to get anything for
any Christmas. Santa doesn't change the rules."
Clay, "I'm
eating."
September 2015 (Amie’s
status)
Clay &
I went on a "secret mission" for Brandon's birthday last night. I
told Clay "it's a secret don't tell daddy." We get home and he
whispers to Brandon "we got you a birthday cake." Brandon looks
around for it and doesn't find it. Clay says "it's at Nana's house!"
#nomoresecrets
Brandon He told me it is a Dairy Queen cake too!
September
2015
Last night
I read Clay the Elf on the Shelf book. He said, "(pointing at the elf)
Daddy, when he comes knock him over and I will hide him so he can't go and see
him (pointing at Santa)." For those of you who don't know, the Elf on the Shelf
flys to Santa each night to report to Santa whether you have been good or bad.
September 2015 (Amie’s
status)
Clayton
recently told his cousin, "I want to be a superhero when I grow up.... So
I can save people from heaven." Last night my Grandpa Ollie went to
heaven. We will miss him greatly.
September
2015
Clay heard
me telling my mom that the basement at our rental home in Green Bay flooded
again (3rd time since moving to Marquette). He then says, "We can go to
Toys R Us." #waytolookonthebrightside #mylosshisgain
August 30,
2015
Waitress,
"What would you like to drink?" Clay, "What do you have?"
Waitress, "Orange juice, Apple juice, and Coke products." Clay,
"I'll have Coke products."
August 30,
2015
Trying to
figure out where to have dinner. Amie, "Where should we go?" Clay,
"I know a really fun place." Amie, "Where's that?" Clay,
"Emily and Rodger's house!"
August 25, 2015
We are at
Nana's house. Clay, "Dada, are you an adult?" "Yes." I
responded. "Do you want to play an adult game?" #scrabble #nanasrules #alwayslookingforaloophole
August 18,
2015
I let Clay
watch Dennis The Menace and the next thing I know he is trying to sell soda
"root beer" from the fridge... Only "twenty dollars" a
drink!
July 26,
2015 (Amie’s status)
Last night
Brandon called the front desk at the hotel because the remote wasn't working. A
guy brought new batteries to the room. When we opened the door Clay said to the
guy, "I can't get any sleep around here because this baby is too
loud!"
July 22,
2015 (Amie’s status)
Last night
at Target Clay was quite cute! He said to every kid in passing "I like
your shirt!" Needless to say he made some new friends
July 11,
2015
Clay and I
slept in a tent in the backyard. We slept on an air mattress and we watched
Netflix on my ipad #roughingit Imagine me on one side of the air mattress and
Clay on the other #wakeupcuddling
June 22,
2015 (Amie’s status)
Clayton
just said in a loud whiny voice [at a restaurant], "I didn't want milk. I
want beer!"
June 11, 2015
Amie just told me Daphne gets mad if you talk. Then there was a
small pause and Amie said to me, "Shut up I don't want to hear it."
June 11, 2015
Cheryl, "I have an umbrella if we need it." 10 minutes
later while discussing whether Clay could come with me to pack the car, Clay
says to Amie, "Men don't need umbrellas."
June 1, 2015 (my comment on a
friend’s status)
Econo Foods sometimes has
free beer samples. Last time my conversation with another shopper also enjoying
some samples went something like this: me, "I feel guilty." Random
dude, "why?" Me, "Because my wife and kids are in the car."
Random dude, "mine too." Me, "I'll try the Pale Ale."
May 23, 2015
It usually
says what kind of shark Clay has on the bottom of his toy. His new one does not
say what kind it is and I told him that. He did not believe me so he went and
asked Amie what it says on the bottom. He came back and told me, "it's a
made in China shark."
May 21,
2015 (Amie’s status)
On the way home from school today Clay said, " I want my wife
to sleep over. I miss her." Clay
has a wife and girlfriend but neither has slept over yet.
April 8,
2015 (Amie’s status)
Clayton
saw a new fire hydrant in our neighborhood. Clay said "Dogs pee on fire
hydrants!" I said, "Yes they do. Who told you that?" Clay said,
"Logan!"
April 8,
2015 (my sister’s status)
As we are
looking at the toy shop, Clayton says to me, "Auntie Holly, what kind of
snake is this?" I look at the tag of the stuffed snake and say, "It's
a milk snake." Clayton responds, "A milk snake... I've always wanted
a milk snake!" Lmao... Sold, because he is so darn cute!
April 7,
2015 (my sister’s status)
Clayton
(my nephew) hit the help button in the elevator at Donker's. The cops came.
After running around at dinner and being scolded, he asked, "Are the
trouble guys coming?"
April 4,
2015
Pinocchio
is in the Disney vault. I just purchased Pinocchio from my sister's kids for
$30, $10 each. Dylan then showed me on his phone that I could've purchased
Pinocchio for $7 including shipping from eBay. He then says "nice doing
business with you."
March 31,
2015 (Amie’s photo caption)
I think
Nana is having fun with Clay & Daphne today!
Nana said,
"While I was changing Daphne, Clay turned into a tiger!" [He drew
tiger stripes on his leg with a marker]
I said,
"He is due for a bath today anyways."
Nana said,
"Oh good because I told him to do the other leg too!”
March 30,
2015 (Amie’s status)
Clay is
such a good big brother! While I'm feeding Daphne at bedtime, he opens her door
quietly, walks in, and kisses her head. He said, "I need to say
goodnight!"
March 29,
2015
Clay,
"Damn it." Nana, "Nana does not say that word." Clay, "Well, I say
that word. Damn it."
March 8,
2015
Clay just
summed up our life. He was sitting in the living room on his potty when he said
to Amie, "You have to stay by [me] in case I poop."
March 4,
2015
We have
one of those potty chairs that closes to make a step. The other day Clay walked
into the living room carrying his potty chair. He set it down on the floor near
me, slapped the top twice, and said, "There's pee in here."
March 4,
2015
We are
sitting in the living room drinking coffee and watching some dragon show. Clay
sits on his potty chair and says to Amie, "Go in the other room. I need my
privacy."
February
24, 2015 (Amie’s photo caption)
Clayton
said, "I'm not a kid. I'm a pirate!"
February
5, 2015
Our DVR
only allows us to record two programs at once. Amie wants to record American
Idol and Grey's Anatomy rather than Ask the Lawyers. I guess I don't need to
watch Ask the Lawyers considering I will be on the show.
February
4, 2015
I bought
the first season of Dennis the Menace on DVD for Clay. I am not sure if that
was a good idea. #Ideas
January
31, 2015
Yesterday
when we got to Target and put Clay in the front of the shopping car, he stood
up stretched out his arm pointing forward and yelled, like a pirate, “To the
Toys!”
January
31, 2015 (Amie’s status)
Clay:
“Momma, can I have a popsicle?”
Amie: “No
you need to eat something healthy.”
Clay:
“Momma, can I have a hug?”
Smooth.
January
18, 2015 (After a Packer’s playoff loss)
Clay to Amie,
"Cuddle Daphne momma."
January
2015 (Amie’s status)
Last night
I told Clay he had to go to school tomorrow. He said "Ugh.... my baby
sister needs me!"
January
2015
We brought
home Daphne today, and Clay is already learning new things. I ran out to pick
up lunch. As soon as I got back Clay said, "Daddy do you want to see
mommy's breast?" Apparently, Daphne already had lunch.
January
2015 (Amie’s status)
Daphne was
born at [a certain time]. She is 6 pounds 4 ounces and 19.5 inches tall. We are
doing great!
January
2015
Cheryl told us that when Clay woke up this morning he said,
"My baby sister is coming today!" He's right... She should be here in
a few hours
December
28, 2014
Mixed
emotions today, I want the Packers to win, but I also want Amie so worked up
that she goes into labor. With that, let's go Lions! I need that tax break.
December
25, 2014 (Amie’s status)
After
opening his first gift from Santa, Clay said, "I didn't want this."
Then after all the gifts were open, he said, "This is the best Christmas
ever!"
December
23, 2014 (Amie’s status)
Brandon
and Clayton each got to open up a present tonight. Clay got the Planes Fire
& Rescue movie. Brandon got a tent. We all were cozy watching the movie in
the tent
December
20, 2014
Watching
Curious George Two in a fort made out of blankets and kitchen chairs with my
curious little money (Clay)!
December
19, 2014 (Amie’s photo caption)
We got
Clay's school pictures today! Clay said, "I'm wearing my work shirt."
[He was wearing a button up long sleeve shirt.]
December
13, 2014
Amie is shopping with her mom while I am home with Clay. I come
into the living room and set a glass of orange juice on a table in between two
rocking chairs. Clay swings one of the chairs around. It hits the table. My
glass of orange juice crashes to the floor leaving glass and juice everywhere.
I proceed to clean it up with paper towel, sweep the floor as I move around all
the furniture looking for more glass, and vacuum the near by area rug just in
case there are little shards of glass that I could not see. All the while I am
intermittently hollering at Clay. Finally, I get a new glass of orange juice
and set it back on the table. Clay is sitting in the other rocking chair, and
he says to me, "I'm sorry. I promise I won't break that glass
daddy."... I'm sorry too.
December
6, 2014
Today at
our house: Amie won't tell me how much money she brought to the Dome for the
craft sale, and every time I give Clay a cookie he says, "Don't tell
mama." #secrets
December
4, 2014
Clay is
getting really good at playing his belly like in the new Kmart Christmas
commercial. If you have not seen it, a bunch of guys are standing in a line
hitting their own exposed bellies, and the bellies of the person standing next
to them, like they are drums. The first time Clay saw the commercial he said,
"Look Dada! You should do that."
That’s My
Family
© December
2015 Brandon J. Evans
