Thursday, December 10, 2015


My most successful post has been about my family because they are far more entertaining than anything I write.  So without any ado here are the antics from my family over the last year as seen on Facebook: 

December 2015

This morning Daphne pooped out a gold bead. I think it was from the Christmas tree skirt. #‎IthinkwewatchedClaycloser #‎secondchild

December 1, 2015

Tonight Amie was showing Clay how many days until Christmas on the calendar. "We put an x here then you have this day, this day, this day...." Clay, "That's a lot of days... Can we draw a bunch of xs?"

November 29, 2015 (Amie’s status)

Brandon and I were in Nana's downstairs bathroom discussing how unsafe it is for Daphne. There were cleaning products within her reach, though Nana keeps door closed when she is there. We decided to move the cleaning supplies into the closet. Meanwhile, while we were doing that, Clayton opened the gate for Daphne and she climbed up two flights of stairs.

November 28, 2015

The Elf on the Shelf appeared today. Amie, "You can't touch him because he'll loose his magic powers." Clay, "Then he'll stay here all the time? ... I want him to stay here." #‎consideringhisoptions #‎notsocrazyaboutbeingwatchedbysomeonewhowilltellSanta

November 20, 2015 (Amie’s status)

And so it begins.... I was in the bathroom getting dressed and Clay walked in to use the toilet. He said, "What are boobs for?" I said, "to feed babies." LOL!!

November 15, 2015

Clay has been crying and whining for a new toy and "maybe for Christmas" has not been an acceptable answer. So he asks, "When is it a Nana day?" Nana days are when my mom watches him. Last time this happened - tantrum over a toy - he spent the next day convincing Nana to go to Target. It worked.

November 7, 2015

Update: Damn you Google, first you make Clay think there is a Toys R Us in Eau Clair then while searching for toy stores you make Amie and Clay clink on a link to an adult toy store. "No Clay we are not going to the adult store."

I just got picked up from my meeting and Clay immediately said to me, "that's the rule dad; we're going to Toys R Us."

November 1, 2015

Getting ready for church and Amie says to me, "you wore that sweater last Sunday." Me thinking while changing, "Like I care. I got this sweater in 2004."

October 31, 2015 (my mom’s status)

The other day before going to the park I told Clay to pick up his mess. "Will you help me Nana?" He said. "No, you made the mess," I said. "Can we work together?" He said. "No, I'm busy with Daphne." Then he got all serious, looked at me and said, "Let's be a team!"

October 31, 2015

We pulled Clay around in a wagon trick or treating. At each house we would have to tell him to get out of the wagon and go to the door. After I told Clay to get up near the last house, Clay said to me, "how come you send me all the time?!"

October 31, 2015 (Amie’s status)

Yesterday, we went to Walmart and had to look at toys of course. Then, I got Clay to look at the Christmas stuff by telling him, "Sometimes there are toys here too." Well Clay found the Abominable Snow Monster from Rudolph and said, "I want this momma and I'm not giving up." Guess who won? We went home and watched Rudolph!

October 19, 2015

We have a love seat that sort of separates the family room into two areas - a play area and a TV area. The kids were both in the play area when I sat on the couch and turned on the TV. The TV was on Disney Junior and I changed it within two seconds. In those two seconds, Daphne started crawling into the TV area and Clay runs in and says, "Will you turn that show back on for Daphne?"

October 12, 2015 (Amie’s status)

Clay, "Momma, I'm not eating. You know why?" 
Me, "Why?"
"Because I'm thinking about what I want for Christmas. I want the big spaceship from Miles From Tomorrowland." 
Brandon, "You have to be good to get that."
 Clay, "I don't want that."
 Brandon, "You have to be good to get anything."
 Clay, "I'll wait until the next Christmas."
 Me, "You have to be good to get anything for any Christmas. Santa doesn't change the rules."
 Clay, "I'm eating."

September 2015 (Amie’s status)

Clay & I went on a "secret mission" for Brandon's birthday last night. I told Clay "it's a secret don't tell daddy." We get home and he whispers to Brandon "we got you a birthday cake." Brandon looks around for it and doesn't find it. Clay says "it's at Nana's house!"

Brandon  He told me it is a Dairy Queen cake too!

September 2015

Last night I read Clay the Elf on the Shelf book. He said, "(pointing at the elf) Daddy, when he comes knock him over and I will hide him so he can't go and see him (pointing at Santa)." For those of you who don't know, the Elf on the Shelf flys to Santa each night to report to Santa whether you have been good or bad.

September 2015 (Amie’s status)

Clayton recently told his cousin, "I want to be a superhero when I grow up.... So I can save people from heaven." Last night my Grandpa Ollie went to heaven. We will miss him greatly.

September 2015

Clay heard me telling my mom that the basement at our rental home in Green Bay flooded again (3rd time since moving to Marquette). He then says, "We can go to Toys R Us." #‎waytolookonthebrightside #‎mylosshisgain

August 30, 2015

Waitress, "What would you like to drink?" Clay, "What do you have?" Waitress, "Orange juice, Apple juice, and Coke products." Clay, "I'll have Coke products."

August 30, 2015

Trying to figure out where to have dinner. Amie, "Where should we go?" Clay, "I know a really fun place." Amie, "Where's that?" Clay, "Emily and Rodger's house!"

August 25, 2015

We are at Nana's house. Clay, "Dada, are you an adult?" "Yes." I responded. "Do you want to play an adult game?" #‎scrabble #‎nanasrules #‎alwayslookingforaloophole

August 18, 2015

I let Clay watch Dennis The Menace and the next thing I know he is trying to sell soda "root beer" from the fridge... Only "twenty dollars" a drink!

July 26, 2015 (Amie’s status)

Last night Brandon called the front desk at the hotel because the remote wasn't working. A guy brought new batteries to the room. When we opened the door Clay said to the guy, "I can't get any sleep around here because this baby is too loud!"

July 22, 2015 (Amie’s status)

Last night at Target Clay was quite cute! He said to every kid in passing "I like your shirt!" Needless to say he made some new friends

July 11, 2015

Clay and I slept in a tent in the backyard. We slept on an air mattress and we watched Netflix on my ipad #‎roughingit Imagine me on one side of the air mattress and Clay on the other #‎wakeupcuddling

June 22, 2015 (Amie’s status)

Clayton just said in a loud whiny voice [at a restaurant], "I didn't want milk. I want beer!"

June 11, 2015

Amie just told me Daphne gets mad if you talk. Then there was a small pause and Amie said to me, "Shut up I don't want to hear it."

June 11, 2015

Cheryl, "I have an umbrella if we need it." 10 minutes later while discussing whether Clay could come with me to pack the car, Clay says to Amie, "Men don't need umbrellas."

June 1, 2015 (my comment on a friend’s status)

Econo Foods sometimes has free beer samples. Last time my conversation with another shopper also enjoying some samples went something like this: me, "I feel guilty." Random dude, "why?" Me, "Because my wife and kids are in the car." Random dude, "mine too." Me, "I'll try the Pale Ale."

May 23, 2015

It usually says what kind of shark Clay has on the bottom of his toy. His new one does not say what kind it is and I told him that. He did not believe me so he went and asked Amie what it says on the bottom. He came back and told me, "it's a made in China shark."

May 21, 2015 (Amie’s status)

On the way home from school today Clay said, " I want my wife to sleep over. I miss her."  Clay has a wife and girlfriend but neither has slept over yet.

April 8, 2015 (Amie’s status)

Clayton saw a new fire hydrant in our neighborhood. Clay said "Dogs pee on fire hydrants!" I said, "Yes they do. Who told you that?" Clay said, "Logan!"

April 8, 2015 (my sister’s status)

As we are looking at the toy shop, Clayton says to me, "Auntie Holly, what kind of snake is this?" I look at the tag of the stuffed snake and say, "It's a milk snake." Clayton responds, "A milk snake... I've always wanted a milk snake!" Lmao... Sold, because he is so darn cute!

April 7, 2015 (my sister’s status)

Clayton (my nephew) hit the help button in the elevator at Donker's. The cops came. After running around at dinner and being scolded, he asked, "Are the trouble guys coming?"

April 4, 2015

Pinocchio is in the Disney vault. I just purchased Pinocchio from my sister's kids for $30, $10 each. Dylan then showed me on his phone that I could've purchased Pinocchio for $7 including shipping from eBay. He then says "nice doing business with you."

March 31, 2015 (Amie’s photo caption)

I think Nana is having fun with Clay & Daphne today!
Nana said, "While I was changing Daphne, Clay turned into a tiger!" [He drew tiger stripes on his leg with a marker]
I said, "He is due for a bath today anyways."
Nana said, "Oh good because I told him to do the other leg too!”

March 30, 2015 (Amie’s status)

Clay is such a good big brother! While I'm feeding Daphne at bedtime, he opens her door quietly, walks in, and kisses her head. He said, "I need to say goodnight!"

March 29, 2015

Clay, "Damn it." Nana, "Nana does not say that word." Clay, "Well, I say that word. Damn it."

March 8, 2015

Clay just summed up our life. He was sitting in the living room on his potty when he said to Amie, "You have to stay by [me] in case I poop."

March 4, 2015

We have one of those potty chairs that closes to make a step. The other day Clay walked into the living room carrying his potty chair. He set it down on the floor near me, slapped the top twice, and said, "There's pee in here."

March 4, 2015

We are sitting in the living room drinking coffee and watching some dragon show. Clay sits on his potty chair and says to Amie, "Go in the other room. I need my privacy."

February 24, 2015 (Amie’s photo caption)

Clayton said, "I'm not a kid. I'm a pirate!"

February 5, 2015

Our DVR only allows us to record two programs at once. Amie wants to record American Idol and Grey's Anatomy rather than Ask the Lawyers. I guess I don't need to watch Ask the Lawyers considering I will be on the show.

February 4, 2015

I bought the first season of Dennis the Menace on DVD for Clay. I am not sure if that was a good idea. #‎Ideas

January 31, 2015

Yesterday when we got to Target and put Clay in the front of the shopping car, he stood up stretched out his arm pointing forward and yelled, like a pirate, “To the Toys!”

January 31, 2015 (Amie’s status)

Clay: “Momma, can I have a popsicle?”
Amie: “No you need to eat something healthy.”
Clay: “Momma, can I have a hug?”

January 18, 2015 (After a Packer’s playoff loss)

Clay to Amie, "Cuddle Daphne momma."

January 2015 (Amie’s status)

Last night I told Clay he had to go to school tomorrow. He said "Ugh.... my baby sister needs me!"

January 2015

We brought home Daphne today, and Clay is already learning new things. I ran out to pick up lunch. As soon as I got back Clay said, "Daddy do you want to see mommy's breast?" Apparently, Daphne already had lunch.

January 2015 (Amie’s status)

Daphne was born at [a certain time]. She is 6 pounds 4 ounces and 19.5 inches tall. We are doing great!

January 2015

Cheryl told us that when Clay woke up this morning he said, "My baby sister is coming today!" He's right... She should be here in a few hours

December 28, 2014

Mixed emotions today, I want the Packers to win, but I also want Amie so worked up that she goes into labor. With that, let's go Lions! I need that tax break.

December 25, 2014 (Amie’s status)

After opening his first gift from Santa, Clay said, "I didn't want this." Then after all the gifts were open, he said, "This is the best Christmas ever!"

December 23, 2014 (Amie’s status)

Brandon and Clayton each got to open up a present tonight. Clay got the Planes Fire & Rescue movie. Brandon got a tent. We all were cozy watching the movie in the tent

December 20, 2014

Watching Curious George Two in a fort made out of blankets and kitchen chairs with my curious little money (Clay)!

December 19, 2014 (Amie’s photo caption)

We got Clay's school pictures today! Clay said, "I'm wearing my work shirt." [He was wearing a button up long sleeve shirt.]

December 13, 2014

Amie is shopping with her mom while I am home with Clay. I come into the living room and set a glass of orange juice on a table in between two rocking chairs. Clay swings one of the chairs around. It hits the table. My glass of orange juice crashes to the floor leaving glass and juice everywhere. I proceed to clean it up with paper towel, sweep the floor as I move around all the furniture looking for more glass, and vacuum the near by area rug just in case there are little shards of glass that I could not see. All the while I am intermittently hollering at Clay. Finally, I get a new glass of orange juice and set it back on the table. Clay is sitting in the other rocking chair, and he says to me, "I'm sorry. I promise I won't break that glass daddy."... I'm sorry too.

December 6, 2014

Today at our house: Amie won't tell me how much money she brought to the Dome for the craft sale, and every time I give Clay a cookie he says, "Don't tell mama." #‎secrets

December 4, 2014

Clay is getting really good at playing his belly like in the new Kmart Christmas commercial. If you have not seen it, a bunch of guys are standing in a line hitting their own exposed bellies, and the bellies of the person standing next to them, like they are drums. The first time Clay saw the commercial he said, "Look Dada! You should do that."

That’s My Family

© December 2015 Brandon J. Evans